October 24, 2011

Day 13

Day 13
Well, when last we left our little Samuel, he had been in and out of a good sinus rhythm for part of an afternoon. Travis left the hospital that night with Samuel still in sinus and going strong. We woke up early Monday morning and checked in with his night nurse. He'd gone over 10 hours without being paced. Fist pumps in the air may have happened around the breakfast table...
Travis spent the morning with Sam, while I stayed at home with Luke. Our fabulous neighbors/surrogate grandparents had agreed to watch Luke in the afternoon so that Travis could get to work and I could get to the hospital. While Travis was at the hospital, Sam had a period of about 20 minutes when he slipped back out of sinus rhythm and into complete heart block. However, the pacemaker kicked in and kept him comfortable until his heart decided to pick back up. When I arrived shortly after noon, his heart rate was nice and steady. 130-140 when awake, and 120s when asleep. Just like it should be.
After our up and down weekend, I was hesitant to share the news because I feel like it's unfair to take you all on this roller coaster ride with us. It's getting to the point where I feel like I should be apologizing when the bad news comes...
But, after a few hours of seeing the nice steady green line on the monitor, I posted about our good morning on Facebook. It is so nice to see you all rejoicing with us. Without this amazing network of prayers and love surrounding us, I don't know what we would be doing.
His heart rate stayed good through the early afternoon, which prompted visits from the surgeon and the cardiologist. The surgeon felt really good about everything and cancelled the pacemaker surgery that was scheduled for Tuesday morning. The cardiologist asked the nurses to disconnected the wires from the pacemaker box, so that in case his heart rate did slip, they would have an idea of how low it would go and what it would do.
This disconnection was a big deal to me because it was the first step on the list of things they had explained to us that would have to happen before he was allowed to come home. I felt like we were finally making progress.
And then...
At 5:30, his heart rate started jumping around. 140s all the way down to 70s. However, unlike before, he was staying in a sinus rhythm (meaning, he wasn't going back into complete heart block). His vital signs and his coloring stayed good, so they decided to monitor it for a while. And then it just kept going lower. It was still bouncing around, but eventually was getting down into the 60s on the low end. However, he was still maintaining a good blood pressure and good saturation levels. The cardiologist told them to just ride it out.
By the time they did night rounds at 9 o'clock, he had been hanging out in the low 60s for a while. I think this was making the night staff a little nervous (and me too), so the hooked him back up to the pacemaker. They set it in the 80s, just to give him some more support, but also so that if his native rate came back, it could easily override the pacemaker.
After having such a good day, with him being unpaced for almost 24 hours, it was a physical blow to watch them plug those wires back into that little box. This back and forth, up and down...it's taking its toll on me. I think I have done fairly well, all things considered, in how I've handled the stress of the past two weeks. But this may be my breaking point.
The hardest parts, I am finding, are not understanding what is happening and not knowing what to expect next. If someone could give me a better explanation other than "This just happens sometimes..." it might be easier to swallow. Or if I knew I needed to prepare myself for another surgery or just another 2 weeks in the hospital...it might be easier. But this limbo and confusion just wipes out what little reserves I have left.
Pray for patience and clarity, my friends. We all need a good dose of it.

No comments:

Post a Comment