September 3, 2010

Year 1, Survived!

Dear Luke,

Today is your first birthday. Yay! While I'm sure your birthdays in years to come will most likely involve more craziness, the current Disney It-character, and much more sugar, we celebrated today with the timeless tradition of letting you eat cake with lots of icing while almost completely naked. After being a little hesitant about what exactly you were supposed to do with the giant chocolate cupcake we placed in front of you, with a little help, you finally got the idea and embraced the cupcake with both hands. Literally.

I've spent most of the day reminiscing about what we were doing at that specific time a year ago. At 9 PM last night, I was watching a stupid reality show about crashing cars when I laughed and thought I'd peed on myself, when in fact, my water had broken. At 2 AM this morning, we gave up on starting labor by walking the halls of the Maternity Ward, I took half an Ambien and got the last good sleep I'd get for about 10 months. At 9, your father and I were watching Season 1 of The Office on DVD, courtesy of your Uncle Sam, while I was hooked to an IV that pumped me full of Pitocin. At 3 PM, I was READY for an epidural. At 4:00 I was REALLY READY for that epidural to start working. And finally, at 5:21, you arrived. Cone head and all.

This past year has been so many things. And while exhausting is probably the most apt description, it's also been the most rewarding, exciting, and challenging year of my life to date. I know those are the typical 1st year feelings. I was expecting them and they came just like clockwork. What I wasn't expecting was the real sense of accomplishment I'd feel today. You are one year old today. You have been (mostly) healthy, (mostly) happy, and (definitely) ALIVE for one whole year. You eat well, you learned to walk early, and thank the good Lord above, you FINALLY sleep through the night. And to top it all off, your father and I love you more today than we even knew was possible. I feel like I should be pumping my fist in the air while saying this. 'Cause it truly is an accomplishment, and a blessing, that I get to say it at all.

I can't say that I ever doubted that we'd live to see this day. You weren't a terribly difficult baby, based upon what I've learned from other moms. And yet, making it this far seemed so impossible all those many months ago when you wouldn't gain weight, when you wouldn't sleep more than 2 hrs at a time, when I was so sleep deprived that I turned into a different person. Being your mom was, and is, truly the hardest job I've ever had. There are no sick days, no paid vacation, no mandatory break times...just sore boobs, diapers, and lots of bodily fluids.  

But the good still outweigh the bad...and not by just a little. Your personality, that has been showing itself slowly more and more in the last few months, is so stinkin' cute. You are such a happy guy. You love "sneaking" up behind me and shrieking with laughter when you hit me on the back and I react with total shock and surprise. Ever since the day you figured out how to go from sitting to crawling, you have rarely held still for more than a second at a time. Now that you are walking, this had created quite a challenge for me...you are never where I leave you. I feel like I spend all day just following you around.

So, here we are. One year of your life is over. While I don't feel especially weepy over the fact that you aren't a baby anymore and are instead in a dead sprint to toddlerhood, I am overcome with emotion just the same. I am so thankful that I get to be your Momma. That you are so healthy and so happy and so alive. I love you, little man.

And so, for all that, I am celebrating today. Here's to you and me, kid. We made it! Let's eat cake!

1 comment:

  1. I love this video! I'm thinking about eating my wedding cake this way :)
    Congrats to you and Travis on being great parents for a whole year now - and Happy Birthday Luke!!!

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