January 29, 2006

I've Jumped on the MySpace Bandwagon

My "About Me":

Other than an eight year stint on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi, I have spent the majority of my life in a small town in Tennessee. I count this an incredible blessing, rather than a hindrance. I don't have the accent that I should considering my Mississippi and Tennessee roots, but I've learned to embrace and appreciate the accent that I do have (My Wisconsin friends will never let me forget it, anyway).
I come from a semi-large family that is full of distinct personalities and I love each and every one of them massive amounts. Being one of five children, I was quickly given my identity as the quiet, smart one, and spent 18 years believing that's all there was to me.
I followed almost all of the rules and tried to live up to every expectation I thought my parents/family/church/community wanted from me as I was growing up. I wanted nothing more than to accomplish the goals I thought had to be met in order to be deemed successful.
And then this incredible, life-altering thing happened to me: I accomplished all of those things. At least the tangible ones.
I then proceeded to panic like it was my job.
After living up to everyone else's expectations, I realized I had very few of my own.
It took me four years of college, 4 camping summers, and 9 months in a different country, to realize that there was a lot more to me than I'd always thought. I realized that who I thought I was, really isn't who I am at all. I'm still trying to erase the wrong self-image from my brain.
I've worked/lived in Georgia, Kentucky, Wisconsin, Colorado, Texas, and Guatemala in the last 5 years. I want to live/work in about a zillion other places in the next couple of years, but I'd settle for Italy, Montana, North Carolina, Spain, England, Russia, a tropical island (I'm not picky about which one), and Alaska.
I'd rather be doing almost anything than what I am currently doing. I had my fourth foot surgery last September, and I am in the midst of the debate over surgery number 5. Apparently, surgery number 3 was ill-advised and has permanetly screwed up my foot. I'm working with a doctor at the Mayo Clinic and a doctor in Nashville to see if we can come up with another alternative to buy me some time. Number 5 will eventually have to be done. It could either fix things enough to buy me 20-30 years, or it could necessitate surgery number 6 and the ugliest shoes ever known to a twenty-something. I'm stuck standing still while all of these surgeries and decisions are taking place because of a lovely catch-22 called a Cobra Health Insurance.
I don't like standing still. I want to fly far, far away from all of this.
One day, I want a house that sits on top of a hill, with a big wrap-around porch, a rocking chair, and two dogs to sit on either side. I want to live close to a small city, and be able to go hiking in my back yard. It would be nice to have someone to go on adventures with, but I haven't found that person yet. For now, I am blessed with incredible friends all over this country and a few out of it.
I don't know what I'm going to do in my immediate future. I really wish I did. I mean, I REALLY, really wish I did. I don't like not having any idea. But at the same time, I can get really, can't-sit-still-when-I-think-about-it excited when I think of all the places I could end up by the end of 2006.My resolution for this year was to live in some place for more than 6 months.

1 comment:

  1. still reading your blogs. I'm starting to feel like I'm on a date with you. Wierd ;) I liked the wrap around porch fantasy though, very southern.