December 31, 2003

Boredom. I never really knew the meaning of the word until this holiday season. 1 knee-length, non-weight bearing cast + 2 Crutches + 3 pills that make me sleepy= boredom in a way you can't possibly conceive. Mom has done her best. The books worth reading have been read, the movies watched, the trips into town just to buy funky colored nail polish have been made...there just isn't much left to do now. And now, it's New Year's Eve, and I will be ringing in the new year on my couch, maybe with my older brother if he is still awake. woohoo. I sure know how to party. This is turning into a major pity party, so I'm gonna stop. Seriously, I don't need to be complaining. The pain is getting so much better and I am so much more mobile than I was a week ago, that I just need to be patient and quit whining.

2004. It's gonna be a big year. Just chock full of big things. College graduation. My first "real" job in the "real" world. Striking out for places unknown and landing who knows where. Yup. 2004 is going to be an adventure. It's certainly going to start off slow...but things are going to start picking up and before you know it...it'll be Dec. 31, 2004 and I'll be sitting here trying to figure out how in the world it went by so fast.

My resolution this year was to have no regrets. I can't say that I have fulfilled my resolution, but I have to say that there are a lot of things I could be regreting tonight, but I'm not because I tried to live up to having no regrets for a year. There will always be things we regret. I don't think you can live a life without them. We don't always know what we are going to regret. Things I didn't think were a big deal turned out to be big, and things I thought were huge ended up being nothing. I'm not going to list my regrets for the year, like I initially thought I would. But I see now that those things that happened this year that I've attached my regret to, they aren't over. There is always tomorrow and always more opportunities. And God has given me another day to live, and perhaps in that day, I will be able to fix those regrets, or maybe enough time will pass so that those regrets fade and I can just credit them as part of the lesson of life. I am not promised tomorrow or even the next second, so I will continue to try and live without regrets, but I am not going to let the regrets live my life for me. Some things are just beyond your control.

I haven't decided on my resolution for 2004...but I think it will probably have to be about living life as much as I can and enjoying the adventure that it is. I'll let you know.

Until then...Happy New Year. May God bless you and yours.

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